Lo Siento mis amigos.
I have been MIA for awhile now, I have missed you.  Some things have been keepin me busy, the volleyball season kicking into full swing and the ever continuous remodel of our home.  I hope you are doing well and excited for a turkey, shopping and family filled week.
While I have almost had to call in reinforcements to advertise my coaching abilities to some prospective players after 2 weeks my Dad and I ALMOST have a team.  I have found that tryouts are not only for the girls but for the coaches.  I almost feel as if it is a personal attack if they do not choose to be on my team. I mean, come on, am I not the best coach ever?  Seriously I'm kidding best coach ever thing, I try my best.  I Hate this time of the season, and I don't just toss that word around lightly, and every year it seems to get a little more ridiculous.  I do however love that first practice, you know the one that they actually all listen at.
Anyway, Our downstairs is slowly getting transformed and we will soon be able to use our entire house!  Our bathroom has gone from this...

To this in 2 weeks time.

To say that I love it, doesn't even cover my excitement.  It's amazing.  Even more amazing because we didn't have to do anything but pick out the appliances/paint/tile.  Of course we still need to find a mirror, but then it will be a full functionin bathroom, woo hoo!

Stuck in a moment

After posting the other night I felt a sense of relief.  I needed to get it out 'on paper'.  It's still upsetting, but I have chosen to put my focus on the positives of this weekend.  The friends that they have made.  The friends, that my Dad and I have made.  And the lessons we all have learned.

Overall the season was a success, and I'm not going to let a few rude bugs keep me down.  All of the girls have improved, and that to my Dad and I equals success.  And while I dwelled on the negative last post, we received some very nice emails from thankful parents.  Which show me that we did good.

Part of what I like about coaching is seeing them grow into young adults.  My favorite is watching them play highschool ball.  I remember when I played that makeing the highschool team was a 'big deal' and each year the excitement comes back in me for the girls.  I can't wait for August to see them out there representing their team, and will be proud to know that I helped them get there.

There will always be the 'negative nancys' and 'debbie downers' they are unhappy and will not bring me down.  We are all responsible for our own actions, good or bad.

Thank You

I'm finding it hard today to put the positive spin on the things that unfolded yesterday.  I'm left bug eyed and on the verge of tears, and just when I think I'm ok, I'm not. 
Crushed.

Feeling like I put my heart and soul into something and feeling so proud, and those feelings being shattered in  an instant.

Yesterday ended our volleyball season, our 2-3 night/week 2 hour practices, our 10 tournaments, our 6 months of blood, sweat and tears.  And while our girls played at their very best this weekend,I can't help but wonder what I did wrong.

What would make 4 out of my 10 girls leave without 'good bye'.  What would make a mother tear her daughter away for the 6 girls that were waiting to take a team picture and just keep walking.   What would make someone think a 'thank you' is too much to say to someone who has spent 6 months with your child.

I can't get these questions out of my head.  Am I being irrational? Too emotional? Did the 90+ temps in the gym get to me?

It is not just volleyball that we coach them, it's respect, loyalty,independence, teamwork just to name a few.  And to have taught them respect, I am left disappointed.

In our final huddle before The End as I push back the tears but they come anyway I say to them " We are so proud and so honored to be your coaches and we will miss you all " One by one they start to tear.

Never underestimate the power of, 'Thank You'.

Adventures of the lessons learned

It seems that my adventures lately with coaching have not been of the instructional kind.  But more so with life lessons.  Perhaps I am young and naive and just don't know any better but it appears to me that things are different then when I was youngER.  As a child my parents did their best to teach me wrong from right, manners, values, respect and all that good stuff.  Today I don't see it.
The past few weeks have been a struggle, I feel I have to keep telling myself  "I am their coach not their parent".  Who would have thought there would be a thin line here?  Perhaps this doesn't happen in all sports, doesn't help our season is 6 months long...2-3 practice/week and then tournaments 3 times/month.  As we only have 4 tournaments and 9 practices left, I'm wondering if I am making a difference.
Last night was another team meeting, we have these after tournaments and if discussion is needed on somethng else.  Commitment was the main topic last night.  I am baffled at the amount of sports and other activities these girls are in.  This year it was dance, soccer and softball.  I actually had a parent ask me if it was okay for their daughter to miss practice because they had dance.  Are you kidding? NO it's not okay.  But usually my response is, "That is your decision, not mine"
Anyway getting back to last night...I started by thanking those who stayed till the end of the tournament on Sunday.  Why? because someone left.  You see we lost semi's, so that means we would work.  And earlier in the season THE TEAM decided as a whole that everyone would stay if such situation occurred.  After we lost semi's this parent grabbed her girl out of a huddle and said "we need togo , we don't have time for this, she can still make a soccer game at 3" as I was later informed by a parent.  She did come up to me to tell me she was taking her and what was my response? "That is your decision, not mine".  How is this acceptable, she left her team.  No one except a coach probably understands the importance of team unity.  We work so hard to make the team unified and then someone pulls that. UGH.  Her leaving left the team sour, "wait, she left?" "why did she leave?" "I thought we were all supposed to stay"  This is what I am left with, a team feelin abandoned, asking questions.  How am I to answer.
You may think, geez why say that then at the meeting if it wasn't the kids fault?  Here's why...beginning of the season we try to instill responsibility.  They are responsible for getting to practice and tournaments, making sure their parents leave in time to get where they need to be.
Sorry for the babbling I'll stop now.  This time of the season is always hard, usually these are the days when I second guess why I am here.  Is it a waste of everyones time?  Only time will tell...
On a happier note I do have a handful of loving, caring, commited, respectful girls on the team.  One who thanked my Dad and I for staying.  The girl who left asked her why she would thank us (in a sarcastic tone I might add..)  I said, "Exactly"

Success!

When discussing with my Dad what to do for our kill winner, we thought a t-shirt would be cool.  Now what to put on it?  Stinks t hat Kill is such a negative word.  We came up with a few good ones, Killer (across the back of the shirt), Ball Killer, just to name a few.  More appropriately we decided on Crusher Kill Champ.  So off I go on Sunday to Michaels in hopes to find the perfect shirt and iron-ons.  Found it!  Also found a 'setter' award, since a Kill does not happen without the perfect set.  That award would be a necklace with a volleyball charm on it.
I have to admit I had doubts that the would think this is stupid.  They are mostly 13 and at that age when things that were 'cool' a year ago are so dumb now.  So at our tournament wrap up meeting we did our normal talk about what was good, what we need to work on and finished with the girls going around and saying something good about each player.
Presentation time!  So to hype up the awesomeness of this award we went through all the prospective receipiants.  The girls did a drumroll on the floor and the winner was announced! 

Success! They loved the prizes and even put them on right then and there.  And for the rest of the girls, they can't wait to win their own!

I cried, I yelled, we almost won...

As my Dad referred to a Katy Perry song last year during one of our team meetings, "You're hot then you're cold your yes then your no"  How funny but true at the same time.  Last year our team was that song, they were all over the place we had no idea what team we were going to get on the court.
This year the team has been fairly consistant, until yesterday.  The past few weeks of practices girls have been missing here and there.  They are in 8th grade so most of them are getting Confirmed so this is taking up some time away from Volleyball.  Much better excuse than Softball or Dance, but still it bugs me, and they know. 
Yesterday we were in Lancaster for a tournament, got up at 5:30 and all that fun stuff, got home around 7, made for a long day.  The first match we played should have been our 'easy' one of the day.  Turns out my team must have still been at their dance the night before....errr....what they weren't visualizing themselves winning games?!?!  So we lost to a team we should have creamed...not one... but two games.  Of course this type of playing deserved a team meeting...So we took the girls outside, since it was an absolutely too beautiful to be stuck in a gym with a poor playing team kind of day.  From my Dad's stat's, we noticed we had about 6 hits then entire match, this along with the missed serves probably cost us the game.  My Dad the awesome thinker he is, came up with an incentive.  The Crusher Kill Champ award, he would keep track of the kills in a game and we would vote on the winning 'kill', those who assisted and they would receive an award.  For those that aren't used to the v-ball lingo a kill is defined as an awesome hit that cannot be touched by the opposing team, straight from the hitters hands to the floor. Complete Awesomeness.  Honestly we didn't think it would be hard to track since there was only 6 hits in the first game....yes I ALMOST cried, okay maybe a tear did come out, why?
I occasionally cry throughtout the season usually behind the scenes of course.  This time was because I KNOW they can do better, they work so hard at practice and deserve to play well.  So frustrating!
Next game...still not great but our hitting improved!  We lost and had another team talk.  I know the opposing teams coach, he actually coached me way back, it never feels good to a coach you know. err...
3rd match, not too shabby, we hung with Norlanco which we have a history of losing too, but the score wasn't embarrassing and our hit statistics went up dramatically, I think we were at about 44 in the match.  Compared to 6 in the first match!? now you understand why I was crying.
And then I yelled...this was not a normal yell that I will do at practice, this one sounded different when it came out.  As we are walking off the court, I caught one of the girls looking so depressed you would have thought she broke her ipod.  So I yelled "Everyone in the corner NOW".  One thing bugs me more than playing poorly and that is ATTITUDE.  I review this several times during the season, this is a team, whether you are on the bench or on the court positive attitude is key.  If I see them pouting on the bench, they don't go in, end of story and THEY KNOW THAT.  So I yelled, that if I see it again this person will sit the bench the rest of the touranment.  Afterwhich I said, "that put aside, nice effort on the court." and continued to encourage them to be aggressive, especialliy against the next team. 
And then we almost won... Valley Forge is a tough team, we played them last weekend too, and lost.  Games go to 25, and I don't think we broke 18.  We played AWESOME, that is the team I have at practice working hard and not letting anything touch the floor.  We were up at several times throughout the match.  However we did end up losing 25-27 and 22-25.  Not too shabby. It felt like we won.  And as we told the girls in our first meeting, winnning the game is not everything but playing your best at all times is.  They played their best those two games and won in our eyes.
We ended up not getting into the playoffs since we lost every game but one.
As for the Crusher Kill Champ winner, one of my setters will be the proud winner for having an awesome Kill!  I will be making  some killer t-shirts as the prize fo sho.

Glad I'm not THAT coach

4 years ago I saw one of my long lost coaches that coached me during CYO Volleyball season 5th-8th grade at St. Anns School.  Her and my Dad coached our teams throughout the years, and I saw her occasionally.  So talking to her, she informed me they were looking for coaches at the Club I used to play for, Crosscourt.  Since Highschool, I really haven't played, and I was feeling the urge to pick up the ball.  With a bulging L-5 disc in my back I can't really play for long periods of time so  I thought coaching may be a way to get back into the sport.  Never coaching before I asked my Dad to be my assistant/mentor.  He accepted, I think he missed it too :-)  He coached my sister and I through club ball.
So my journey began as a Volleyball Coach, and now I'm into my 4th year.  My Dad is still my assistant, it's great to work together with him.  It really gives us a chance to do something together, and while playing volleyball offered a lot of life lessons, coaching volleyball also offers lots of life lessons.  I enjoy it, although it's a long 6 month season, and I want to run away sometimes, it's good for me and keeps me out of trouble.
What prompted this post?  The Olympics...The Dutch Speedskater who finished in first place but was later disqualified because his coach told him to switch to the inside lane.  I want to cry just thinking of this, I can't imagine what this coach is feeling right now.  His decision cost this young mans Gold Medal IN THE OLYMPICS!  One mistake that I'm sure with weigh on him for a long long time.  I am glad I'm not THAT coach!

As a coach for a 14 and under team, I often forget that they are 14 and under.  Always pushing them to their limits both physically and mentally to prepare them for the game and the real world.  Sometimes I wonder if I push to far...  This past weekend we had a tournament at Albright College.  They played Awesome.  They won every single game and finished 1st, they were unstoppable! If you knew the kind of season we had last year you would understand my shock and excitement.  We just won't talk about last season...and pretend it never happened.  Their hard work payed off, FINALLY!  And maybe my Dad and I are doing something right...Go Crushers!